Current Status: Standing at a developer's desk discussing something that could have been a Slack message, while a conference room full of stakeholders checks their watches wondering where the person who organized this meeting is.
š The Scenario
What I Said (Yesterday, 4:47 PM)
"Hey team! Let's sync up tomorrow at 9 AM. Really important we all get on the same page about the roadmap. This is critical. Don't be late!"
What I'm Doing (Today, 9:03 AM)
"Hey Dave, got a second? Just wanted to chat about that bug from last sprint. Yeah, I know I have a meeting... but this is important too. How's your weekend? Cool cool. So about that ticket..."
ā° Timeline of Avoidance
8:55 AM
Saw the calendar notification. Thought "in a minute."
8:58 AM
Got coffee. Very slowly.
9:00 AM
Meeting starts. I'm at Dave's desk.
9:02 AM
Phone buzzes. It's the meeting reminder. I silence it.
9:05 AM
Still talking to Dave. About his dog now.
9:08 AM
Slack message from the team lead: "Are you joining?"
9:09 AM
Reply: "2 mins!" (Narrator: It was not 2 mins)
š¬ Classic Excuses in Rotation
š„
The Fire Drill
"Sorry, production issue! You guys start without me!"
š
The Mystery Call
"CEO needed me real quick. Go ahead, I'll catch up!"
š»
The Tech Issues
"Zoom isn't working. Can we do this async?"
š§
The Email Emergency
"Urgent stakeholder email just came in. Can someone take notes?"
š¤·
The Calendar Confusion
"Wait, was that TODAY? My calendar must have glitched."
š
The Double-Book
"Oh no, I have TWO meetings right now. Let me see which one is more critical..."
š By The Numbers
6
People Waiting
14
Minutes Late (So Far)
3
Slack "2 mins!" Messages Sent
100%
Chance I'll Blame Tech
š Internal Monologue
"If I join now, it'll be awkward. Better to wait until they're 10 minutes in and then I can blame a 'hard stop' from a previous meeting. Yeah. That's way better than just... going to the meeting I scheduled."
ā Every PM, Ever
šÆ The Master Plan
Step 1: Avoidance
Find literally anything else to do. Reorganize desk. Check Twitter. Ask dev about weekend.
Step 2: Panic
Realize it's been 15 minutes. Team is probably discussing things without me. MY meeting.
Step 3: The Entrance
Join with camera off. "Sorry everyone, crazy morning! Can someone recap?" (I organized this.)
Step 4: Overcompensate
Extend meeting by 20 minutes to make up for it. Everyone suffers.
š¤ Why Though?
Is it because I didn't actually prepare? Is it because I'm secretly hoping the problem will solve itself if I avoid it long enough? Is it because talking to Dave about his dog is genuinely more interesting than the roadmap discussion I didn't prepare for?
The answer: Yes.
The answer: Yes.