Current Status: Standing at a developer's desk discussing something that could have been a Slack message, while a conference room full of stakeholders checks their watches wondering where the person who organized this meeting is.
📋 The Scenario
What I Said (Yesterday, 4:47 PM)
"Hey team! Let's sync up tomorrow at 9 AM. Really important we all get on the same page about the roadmap. This is critical. Don't be late!"
What I'm Doing (Today, 9:03 AM)
"Hey Dave, got a second? Just wanted to chat about that bug from last sprint. Yeah, I know I have a meeting... but this is important too. How's your weekend? Cool cool. So about that ticket..."
⏰ Timeline of Avoidance
8:55 AM
Saw the calendar notification. Thought "in a minute."
8:58 AM
Got coffee. Very slowly.
9:00 AM
Meeting starts. I'm at Dave's desk.
9:02 AM
Phone buzzes. It's the meeting reminder. I silence it.
9:05 AM
Still talking to Dave. About his dog now.
9:08 AM
Slack message from the team lead: "Are you joining?"
9:09 AM
Reply: "2 mins!" (Narrator: It was not 2 mins)
💬 Classic Excuses in Rotation
🔥
The Fire Drill
"Sorry, production issue! You guys start without me!"
📞
The Mystery Call
"CEO needed me real quick. Go ahead, I'll catch up!"
💻
The Tech Issues
"Zoom isn't working. Can we do this async?"
📧
The Email Emergency
"Urgent stakeholder email just came in. Can someone take notes?"
🤷
The Calendar Confusion
"Wait, was that TODAY? My calendar must have glitched."
🏃
The Double-Book
"Oh no, I have TWO meetings right now. Let me see which one is more critical..."
📊 By The Numbers
6
People Waiting
14
Minutes Late (So Far)
3
Slack "2 mins!" Messages Sent
100%
Chance I'll Blame Tech
💭 Internal Monologue
"If I join now, it'll be awkward. Better to wait until they're 10 minutes in and then I can blame a 'hard stop' from a previous meeting. Yeah. That's way better than just... going to the meeting I scheduled."
— Every PM, Ever
🎯 The Master Plan
Step 1: Avoidance
Find literally anything else to do. Reorganize desk. Check Twitter. Ask dev about weekend.
Step 2: Panic
Realize it's been 15 minutes. Team is probably discussing things without me. MY meeting.
Step 3: The Entrance
Join with camera off. "Sorry everyone, crazy morning! Can someone recap?" (I organized this.)
Step 4: Overcompensate
Extend meeting by 20 minutes to make up for it. Everyone suffers.
🤔 Why Though?
Is it because I didn't actually prepare? Is it because I'm secretly hoping the problem will solve itself if I avoid it long enough? Is it because talking to Dave about his dog is genuinely more interesting than the roadmap discussion I didn't prepare for?
The answer: Yes.
The answer: Yes.